Accountability isn't just for bankers!

I wrote a post a couple days ago about, how, many times we needlessly spend a great deal of our lives in solitude, dealing with the things that life throws at us.  Through the turbulence, most of us (un)happily endure it alone, not wanting to unload our burdens on anybody else.  But, as God tells us, "two are better than one...and...a threefold cord is not quickly broken."

So, what does that look like?  How does this accountability happen?  Vulnerability & trust.  No one can have accountability in their lives without these two ingredients.

Because of how I am hardwired, I have a difficult time developing deep, brotherly relationships with other men.  Okay, maybe that is just most men.  Nevertheless, I recently renewed something that I had in my life many years ago... asking for accountability from some trusted men in my life.  When I mustered the courage to make that move, I realized that I was not the only one that craved & needed this.  It opened up the opportunity to help other men, help myself along the way, and grow our community stronger.

I find that I have to force myself to be open & honest.  I trust these men and can let down my defenses with them to increase my vulnerability.  They have to be able to get in to see who I really am, with all my faults, to strengthen the cord of resistance to the enemy's plans.  They, in turn, have accepted me and asked for my accountability in return.  We have endeavored to meet once each week for a face-to-face update, with check-ins by phone or text throughout the week.

One thing you will also find is that this vital behavior is also practiced by any number of hugely successful people in sports, business, and just about any other pursuit you can think.  Success in life requires building community toward a purpose and allowing others to sharpen us toward our goal.

This is by NO means comfortable for any of us.  But, we realize how absolutely vital these behaviors are to living as healthy Christian men.  As I said in my previous post, the enemy tries to isolate us to pick off the weak in the pack.  If he can get us discouraged and distracted from our God-given purpose, he has kept us from reaching somebody else for Christ and showing them God's love.  That is the greatest danger to our happiness.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 - Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 - Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Proverbs 27:17 - Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

I... You... We are not alone

As I was purposelessly scrolling through an online social media outlet tonight, I stumbled across a video with a powerful message.  (http://www.hefty.co/love-your-body/)  The overt message about women being comfortable with themselves and not letting the inner discouragement affect their self esteem, while powerful, is not the most powerful message encased in this video.  In order to understand why esteem issues effect people to the extent that they do, we must understand that these women were essentially suffering in isolated silence.  But, they are not alone... and neither are you.

Since I am writing this blog, I plan to circle it back to me and tell somewhat of a story.  You see, to the untrained eye, I appear as a smart, middle-aged, professional man that has a pretty firm grasp on my world.  What you do not see is the vast ocean of insecurity lying beneath, almost like the immense amount of water, teeming with life below the Arctic Ice Shelf.  Having navigated this far through life, it fortunately does not incapacitate me the way it does for some.  I have merely learned to live with it and dismiss the nagging side effects in the back of my brain.

Over the last few weeks, I have "enlisted" the help of a handful of my friends to assist me in accountability to maintain discipline in a few areas of my life.  I did not realize when I asked for their assistance that I would also be asked to provide accountability for them, too.  What an odd concept!  These men that I envisioned had everything together admitted to having parts of themselves crumbling on the inside without a brother to walk alongside them and help them build it back up.

Through this season, I began to more clearly realize something that I had only guessed at before: we are all falling apart on the inside and need to become more effective as a community.  Or, as a friend of mine likes to put it, #weareallbettertogether.  That's right, we ARE all better together, just the way God planned it.  We are all one body, made to work in connection with each other.  Just like a finger can't work without the hand, so we do not function properly without each other.

We must realize that the more we struggle alone, the more the enemy wins.  As Taryn put it in the video "I thought I was alone..."   That is exactly where we are at our weakest.  On the field of battle, the best way to defeat an enemy is to isolate them and then take them out.  But, when we band together, as brothers and sister, realizing that we are loved, we are special, we are forgiven... we no longer have to live in lonely isolation.  We must pull together and call on each other to help us hold each other up.  We must not lose sight of who & whose we are and not let others lose sight of that either!  WE ARE NOT ALONE!

John 13:34-35 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love on another.  By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

Matthew 18:20  For wherever two or three are gathered in my name, there I am among them.